Building Control Officers:  The National Careers Service advises that the following are essential requirements over and above a HND in an associated subject: Maths knowledge.  Analytical skills. Customer Service skills. The ability to use initiative.  Patience and calmness in situations.  What?

My initial advice for any applicant for the job, is that the Job Title does not suit those with surnames such as Pratt, Burke, or anything that rhymes with a profanity.  “Hunt’ springs to mind, but “Tucker” or “Prosser” will quickly bring notoriety without reason.

To a dodgy builder, they are on the same level as Traffic Wardens.  But even to a craftsman-builder, the Inspector can cause irritation.  Stood at the counter at my local Travis Perkins, I heard a broad Brummy accent moaning about the building inspectors here out in the sticks.  Moaning about the footings.  “They’d have passed that in Brum.”  Do they do many barn conversions in Birmingham?

The Inspectors are NOT the enemy. They are Building Control Officers who inspect.  But they live in our 21^st C  litigious world whereby everyone has to cover their arse or be sued, appealed, whatever.  Why should we have to have a mechanical extractor in a bathroom with a window?   Think double yellow lines when arguing your case.

One Golden Rule: Do not assume.  Because the plans passed assume a 1200mm foundation depth, even if the ground is perfect for this, do NOT order a concrete pour until it is passed by the Building Inspector..  (One Golden Rule (plan B)  states that, if you do assume, take photographs of the excavation and pray to your favourite Saint, cross your fingers or put in a gum-shield).

In my case, the Building Inspector, whose name rhymes with “Buffoon” pointed out a Hawthorn hedge within 7 metres.  1200mm depth for our footings was not enough.  2500mm, he said, and not even a please.  I had ordered the concrete, not four hours away.  A panic call to Ralph, our Structural Engineer, and his first question was “is it a tree or a hedge?”    A hedge, I replied.  About seven foot high.

“Established?”  Yes.  Evidence? Yes – a 112-year-old photograph shows it.  “Then pour your concrete.  I’ll write up a report.”

Retrospectively, we supplied our calcs and the fact is, our Building Inspector was half-right.   A 300-year-old hedge does not have the same effect as a Hawthorn tree left to it’s own devices, i.e.  27-30ft and roots to suit.  He knew that.  So did Ralph.  But our Building Control Officer’s main priority was his own arse sticking out of the window, and wanted it covering. So, he drops the ball in my court.

This does not assist in the hours in between, while I am contemplating the potential removal of the concrete I am due to pour, should our man with the Council clip-board be right, our Engineer be wrong, and we DO have to excavate twice as much.

Our S E played a blinder, and thankfully he was available to reassure with no risk.  He worked off the same charts that­ our Building Inspector used, and based his judgement on experience and site knowledge.  That’s what the letters after his name are for.  They out-trump the inspector’s qualifications.

New-build is one thing, but conversions and restorations of existing buildings are almost impossible to predict without ad-hoc discussion when encountering a potential can of worms.   At this point, listen to your Building Inspector.

For example: replacing an oak beam with an RSJ is a reasonable problem for you both to solve:  The Conservation Officer, on the other hand, can make unreasonable demands based on what it looks like, what is being removed, and why, and an open-plan kitchen or any other dream is not an objective.

Your Building Inspector, on the other hand, is only interested in getting you what you want without it falling down or rotting by condensation.

There is a growing trend in the engagement of Private Building Inspectors. Rather than pay the Council’s Fees (which cannot entirely be avoided) you can instruct your own Inspector.  A local builder who I respect enormously for the quality of his work, summed up his reason for going private thus:  “Your  Local Council Building Inspector has the power to hold up your job with immediate effect.  We all have the same ends, i.e. a good build.  The Freelance Inspector will take responsibility for decisions and will not hold up the site while we carry on working in confidence that the reports and spec are in hand.”

There’s a smack of whoever pays the Piper choosing the tune: I’m sure it’s not like a dodgy underworld solicitor, but I keep faith that, like Planning Officers who go private, likewise Building Inspectors, then just like Ralph our structiural engineer, they do so to enjoy the freedom of getting what the customer wants and utilise their experience and knowledge, free from the restraints of Council directives, budgets & instruction.   And a decent salary.

Busby